Friday, August 31, 2007

Will Bush Appoint Jonathon Sharkey For Attorney General?


Ocean County, New Jersey
August 31, 2007

Last night 2008 VWP Party Presidential Candidate Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey discovered an Internet article entitled; “Will Bush Appoint Jonathon Sharkey As Attorney General?”

As a result of this article, Jonathon will be in Washington, DC next week to speak to some of this nations leaders on Capital Hill, who are friends of his mother’s family, to see if he has a legitimate chance of being appointed as the next US Attorney General.

Jonathon promises that if he is appointed, he would immediately start a crusade against terrorism, police brutality, civil and human right violations, governmental abuse of power, not to mention – religious discrimination.

During an interview this morning at Jonathon’s apartment in Point Pleasant, NJ, a reporter asked him who would be the first person he would prosecute. To the reporter’s surprise, Jonathon said his beloved Meranda would be the first person to be prosecuted.

Two weeks ago, Meranda admitted to being part of an elite vampire hunter society. Vampire hunters have repeatedly threatened to kill Jonathon, in the past two years. To Jonathon and the Vampire Communities, hunters are considered terrorists. Jonathon has pledged to impale all terrorists and those associated with them. When asked if Jonathon would impale Meranda, he responded "no, her statement concerns me greatly though. I feel she has issues which take priority over being impaled for saying something quite stupid and childish. Who in their right mind, would be involved with a vampire, and then confess to being a hunter, or even associated with hunters?"

In Jonathon’s blog, he states no one will get a free ride. That if his own children commit an offense deemed to be punished by impalement, Jonathon would impale them.

It seems the honeymoon is over between Jonathon and Meranda. The reporter also questioned him about 3 drawings he has hanging in his home, that were drawn for him, by his former girlfriend. Jonathon said he likes the pictures, and saw no reason to take them down.

Jonathon did state that he has ordered his “Death Dealers” (Vampires) and his Legionaries of Death and Destruction (Satanists) throughout the world, to be on full alert and prepared for the response from the Vatican, in regards to Jonathon’s declaration of a “Holy War” against the Catholic Church and the Vatican. Is Armegaddon close at hand?

With all the interviews Jonathon has scheduled in the next few weeks, the campaign ask that any reporter wishing to interview Jonathon, to first call the campaign at; 732-300-4275, instead of Jonathon directly through his e-mail addresses.

The Impaler For President 2008 Campaign

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